Rachel Osinaike is our DOZ Show Preferred Guest for this issue of DOZ Magazine, and she is an amazing woman. She is the founder of Women Empowering Projects (WEP) and is passionate about encouraging, motivating, and empowering women to enjoy life and live a life of significance regardless of their past or present troubles. Rachel has faced several challenges from childhood to adulthood.
As a young child, she discovered that her “mother” was, in fact, her grandmother, and shortly after being reunited with her family, she lost her father. As a young woman she experienced several difficulties in her marriage and, subsequently, divorce. But Rachel has been able to bounce back, and she is helping other women to do same. She is the published author of the book, Bounce Back: Turning Trials into Triumphs. In this interview, she shares with us her journey which has been filled with trials and triumphs.
As you read, be inspired to bounce back from adversity!
Rachel, as a young child, you discovered that your “mother” was, in reality, your grandmother. Please share with us that experience.
When I was eight years old, my older sister told me that my mum is not actually our mum that she’s our grand mum. I thought that she was joking at the time, but I later discovered that she wasn’t joking. I discovered that it was true that when I was a baby my mum left me with my grand mum to raise me while she came here to join my dad to help my dad. They both came to England to make a better future for the family. So, I was left with my grand mum when I was six months old, so I grew up thinking she was my mum. So, it was an amazing discovery.
After this discovery, you were reunited with your family, and then your dad died. Will you please share that phase of your life with us and how it affected you?
I met my dad for the first time when I was ten years old after discovering that my real parents were here in the UK. I met them two years after that. I came to England to visit my parents and siblings; some of my siblings were here as well. They reassured me that when I finished secondary school it would be a good opportunity for me to come to the UK to reunite with the whole family. So, I was looking forward to that; I was looking forward to coming to stay with my family so we could all live happily ever after. When I finished secondary school, I came to England to join the whole family, but unfortunately, seven months after my dad passed away. It was tough, the memories, the thoughts that everything was going to be okay, and that was taken away from me. After growing up without a father figure I was looking forward to that experience of everybody being together, but unfortunately, that happened, and it was a very difficult moment for me. I felt lonely, and I felt rejected, and there were so many unanswered questions, like how come this is happening? Have I done something wrong? And then I was 17 years old, and I’m thinking, why did this happen? I was looking forward to this experience. But that happened and I couldn’t turn back the clock, and that’s the situation I found myself in. It was difficult, but I was able to pull through by the grace of God. But it was painful, and I felt cheated.
Is there a link, do you think, between the challenges you faced as a child and the challenges you had in your marriage?
Between me and you, growing up without a father figure in my life was very difficult. I wanted the love of a man that I craved but never got from my dad, and I was determined to have a stable home for my children as well, knowing that I grew up without my dad and my mum being there. As a parent, I have two boys, and I know the bond that is between my boys and me, so I am thinking, you know what? I want to have a stable home for my boys and that regardless of what happens I will always make sure that they have that love and support of their parents. Two years after I became a Christian I met my ex-husband, and it was good; like wow, at last, I now have someone that can show me that love and affection that I need but not knowing that sometimes our expectations are so high of people. We put expectations on people to meet our needs whereas it is only God that can actually meet your deepest desire, your deepest needs. So, I really held on to the marriage, thinking definitely, I am going to get everything I need from this marriage, I am going to get this love and affection from him, but it didn’t turn out the way I planned. Shortly after we got married, challenges started happening, and I am thinking, this is not what I planned for. But, between me and you, I held on to God because I believed that there’s nothing that God cannot do. I trusted God to restore my marriage; I trusted God for everything. My marriage was the centre of my attention. My focus was this marriage has to work, to the extent that I lost myself in the process because I felt that without the marriage working, I am nothing. I thought that marriage is what actually defines me as a person. So, when that started happening, I am thinking, wow. In the process, I struggled emotionally; I was a broken woman whose mental, physical, and emotional health was at stake. And then I was thinking, what’s happened? I have lost myself in the process. So I had to sit back and say, Rachel, you know what? Without this marriage is it that we will not go to heaven? We will answer to God as an individual when we get to heaven. I am thinking, you know what girl? You have a purpose; God has created you for a purpose. I always tell people that marriage is like a side order; God has placed you here for a purpose, for a reason. I had to sit down and think, Rachel what’s happening? So, when I saw that it affected me emotionally and my health was at stake, that’s when I said, you know what? I have to find myself; I have to do something about this. That’s when I decided to seek legal advice. I found myself in a process where I was able to find my self-worth; that my marriage does not define me because I believe I am fearfully and wonderfully made without my marriage. I am a child of God; He loves me the way I am, married, or unmarried. I am thinking, this marriage does not define me as a person. When I was able to realise that, that’s when I was able to find myself again. So that’s my story.
Let’s talk about your women’s ministry, Women Empowering Projects. What is the vision of this ministry, and how did it begin?
I founded this ministry five and a half years ago, in the midst of my marital challenge. I remember I went to a retreat center at that time, and the reason for going to that center was, Lord, I want to hear from you, I want you to tell me that everything will be okay, I want you to tell me that Rachel your marriage will be restored, everything will be okay. On getting to that retreat, I met this old couple, and the woman, she just started prophesying to me that she believes that God wants me to open a support group for women, women that lack support from their husbands. And I’m thinking, Lord, really? I need a support group to go to myself. I am still trusting you for a breakthrough; what do I have to share with other women? Will I say, oh, by the way, I am going through marital challenges, and my marriage is not going well? What do I have to say? I’m thinking, yeah, right. God has a good sense of humor, doesn’t He? I am thinking, am I hearing you right? But you know what? I was actually waiting for a finished product of me. That’s what I was waiting for. I thought that when my marriage is okay, I can come out and start sharing. No. That was not what God wanted from me. God actually wanted me to, in the midst of that pain, give of myself. Do you understand? So that’s how I started, and for some strange reason, I started attracting women that are going through different challenges in their marriage or those going through different life challenges, vulnerable women, and I’m thinking, okay. And I just started sharing and saying, although I am not there yet, but this is what I am doing to be able to navigate this season, and I really found joy in doing that. Sometimes, when you are encouraging other people, in the process, you are encouraging yourself. I’m thinking, okay, I’m encouraging myself as well. In the process of me doing that I started finding healing and deliverance for my own pain as well. One of my strengths is, I love organizing special events for my friends; anytime we have birthdays, I mean they call me social prefect. I enjoy celebrating my birthday, just getting dressed up, and going out to mingle with like-minded women. In the process of me doing that, I found out that anytime we meet up, we always share life’s experiences, what is working and what is not working well, everybody sharing their life experiences. And you feel good that you’re not the only one going through certain issues, it makes you feel okay. Because sometimes, we all keep quiet as if everything is okay. I’m not saying that you have to share your problem with everybody in the world, but at least find a good support system that you can confide in to share what you’re going through so that they can actually encourage you. So that is my vision behind Women Empowering Projects, my vision is to motivate, to encourage, and empower women to live life to the fullest regardless of any past or present challenges. My aim is to provide a place of respite where women that are going through different challenges can come and just offload their burdens among like-minded women, where they can actually encourage and support each other. And of course it’s to encourage women to live a life of significance, which is what I am doing from my past challenges where I thought that everything is about me and is about my problem, not being able to see other people just what I’m going through. I want to encourage women to live a life of significance by making their life count through giving of their time or anything they can to be a blessing to other people. You can volunteer an hour or so in any way just to be a blessing. So that is why I founded women empowering projects. I launched out when I was still broken, I took a step of faith, I was like, Lord I want to obey you, and that’s what I did. And when I did that, my life has not been the same. And I am grateful for me taking that step of faith to launch out.
Let’s talk about your book; Bounce Back: Turning Trials into Triumphs; will you please share with us what this book is about, why you decided to write it, and what impact it has had?
The book, as you said, the title is very simple, Bounce Back: Turning Trials into Triumphs. That is my story. In the first chapter of the book, I wrote about my story, my childhood challenges, my marital challenges, and the divorce. I was able to put all that in the book to be a blessing. And the purpose of this book is to empower and to teach people what they can do to be able to bounce back from different life challenges. It might not be marital; it can be anything; some people are still asking God for the fruit of the womb. Is it financial? Anything. Life throws us different challenges. Another chapter is to do with our mindset. I believe your mindset matters. In the midst of all the challenges, you have to have the right mindset to be able to bounce back. So, the book teaches; it details what I am doing as a person, what I am still doing, or what I have done, to be able to become a better version of myself. And it’s making a lot of impact because I believe everyone has a story; I believe I have a story that can be a blessing to other people. So, in the midst of that, I was thinking that I have a story and I want to be a blessing, I want to live a life of significance. I was able to come out of my comfort zone. I am not really a writer, but I had to find a way of putting this my story in a book form so that it will not only bless people in my social circle; I want it to bless other people in other parts of the world. I want this book to reach many people so that they too can bounce back and become a better version of themselves, which is my story, so that is why I wrote the book.
Rachel, I noticed that you use the name Grateful Rachel, and that’s the name on your book, please share with us why you use that name and what are you most grateful for?
Okay, yes, the name. Actually, when I was about to sign the divorce papers, I was broken, I was devastated. I was disappointed, thinking, Lord, didn’t you answer my prayer? And it actually affected me a lot because I always tell people nobody gets married to get a divorce; that is not what you hope for. And what has happened in my childhood as well. We don’t have control over what life throws at us. So when I was feeling this way, I thought that really that’s it for me and because I know so much about the social status of a divorcee, that now you’re divorced some people see you as a failure, and I was crying, saying Lord, that’s it for me. But in the midst of that I told myself, Rachel write down everything that is working well in your life compared to this divorce that is not working well. I began to write everything that is working well; my business is doing well, my boys are doing very well, I have a good support system, I have a good health, I don’t go to the hospital, I can wake up in the morning and do things for myself, I can use my two hands, I can drive myself everywhere, I have a roof over my head. By the time I wrote that down, I’m thinking, wow, there’s a lot going on for me compared to what is not working. And I said, Lord I am grateful for this, and I’m thinking wow, I’m actually Grateful Rachel. So that’s when I started calling myself Grateful Rachel, that is when I told people I am Grateful Rachel, just call me Grateful Rachel. And people started calling me Grateful Rachel, and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy as well. That’s where the name came from. So now I am grateful for every challenge and disappointment in life because I believe every challenge and disappointment makes me grow, they make me a better person, so I am grateful for every challenge, I am grateful for everything that is working and things that are not even working well in my life.
Thank you, Rachel. How can people reach you if they want to know more about you and the amazing work that you do?
Okay. They can connect with me through my website, womenempoweringprojects.org, and I am on Facebook as Women Empowering Projects or Rachel Osinaike. I am also on Instagram as Grateful_Rachel. They can reach me through these social media platforms, and I will be happy to hear from everyone.
