A few months ago, a friend contacted me and said, I just read the story of a female pastor in Kenya, and I think you should feature her in your magazine. I followed the link and read the story for myself. I wasn’t even halfway through when I felt a certainty in my heart that God wanted me to interview this great woman and share her story with DOZ Magazine readers not just to show His faithfulness, but to give hope to those going through adversity and felt God had abandoned them or that they had lost so much there was no hope for restoration. If you belong in that category, this story is for you.
Terry Gobanga is a woman who has been through adversity and bounced back with God’s help. On the day she was set to marry, she was kidnapped, and gang-raped by three men. Although she did not die, several stab wounds in her stomach meant that she would be unable to bear children. Her fiancé was a good man and still wanted to marry her, so after being given a clean bill of health, she married him, about seven months after they had initially been scheduled to wed. One month later, in a carbon monoxide incident, her new husband died. And she went from new bride to widow. People concluded that she was cursed, many said she was responsible for the death of her husband. Terry Gobanga concluded that God had forsaken her. Then came Tonny Gobanga who indicated an interest in marrying her. But she was afraid and certain if he knew her story he would change his mind, but he didn’t. When she told him that she would be unable to bear children, he responded that children were a gift from God and if God decided to bless their union with children so be it but if God chose not to then he would have more time to love her. So, they married against the will of his family who insisted that she was cursed. His father did not attend the wedding ceremony and Terry who was certain at this point that she was cursed asked God not to let her new husband die. And God answered. Not only did He preserve the life of her husband but one year into their marriage, she was pronounced pregnant. Today the couple have two very lovely girls and are involved in helping women who are rape survivors. Our God is able and faithful. Ladies, be inspired.
Where were you born? Where did you grow up and what was it like?
I was born in Nairobi, Kenya. I grew up in Nairobi, Kenya. I had a normal childhood with amazing parents. We would be classified as a middle-class family with church-going parents, and so the flow was only natural for me to be a churchgoer.
When and how did you become born again?
I became born again while still in primary school. I remember I had gotten saved in Catholic and we were known as the “Charismatics.” I rededicated my life to Jesus later on, with a deeper understanding of what salvation really means while in high school.
When and how did you get called into ministry?
I guess I always was in ministry, in fact, some people joke that I began ministry in my mother’s womb. When I was little, I used to steal food since my dad used to do monthly shopping and so we had a lot of food in the store to last us a whole month. I used to take food and give it to the street families since I had made friends with many of them given my sanguine nature at times that I used to offer them whatever I had whenever they would approach me including just singing together when I did not have anything to offer in terms of money etc, I would ask them to go round to the back of our house and I would hand them over part of our house shopping from sugar to flour until when my mum discovered where the shopping was going then they locked the back gate.
Growing up, I always was in leadership positions, and I was always drawn to lead people in doing right by God which would eventually lead them in doing right to each other.
I have served in the church from when I was little girl age 8, singing and as I grew up I took on more leadership roles by being appointed to head different departments of the ministry from the youth to drama clubs, etc. I fought ministry as a pastor to the point that I kept telling myself even when I went to bible school that I am going there to only understand the Bible better in order to shape my style of leadership since I loved Christ’s model every time I read the bible. By the time I was finishing bible school I was already an intern pastor.
What have some of the defining moments of your life been?
Some of my most defining moments have been the valley experiences. These times I have learnt so much, maybe not at the time but in retrospect, I have come to really appreciate those seasons because I have lost those that I thought were friends only for some to come back when all seemed okay. It is in those seasons that I have come to really know how strong I am when there was nowhere else to go or no one else to turn to. It is in those seasons that I have come to know that when the bible says the Lord sticks closer than a brother, it is so true. He is a very present help at all times if only one can shift focus from what they are going through to the lessons God wants one to learn. These moments also showed me how vulnerable I was and they brought me to the question John asked about Jesus at one point “Are you the one Lord,” are you the one allowing all these things to happen to me? Is it really you because then I think this is too much? This season got me asking like Jesus did to the FATHER, “why have you forsaken me”?
I must say my tests have shaped me more than any university or motivational speaker could have. God had me where He wanted me, right in His school of life and I am grateful for His grace is sufficient to each and every one of us at all times and got to know that He is not a respecter of persons.
Tell us about your marriage to your late husband and the challenges you encountered beginning with you being kidnapped and raped on your wedding day.
My marriage to my late husband, though short was amazing. My greatest challenge was to get intimate with him especially because of the rape ordeal. He was a gentleman, and never once did he rush me or force me to intimacy. He understood where I was coming from and he always assured me of his love and support and that he would wait until I am ready for him. That helped me feel loved and cared for, thus giving me a sense of genuine concern which in turn births trust which then helps one relax and intimacy happens with ease.
How long were you married before being widowed?
Twenty-nine days.
How did these challenges impact your life, current marriage, and ministry?
These challenges impacted my life in several ways through the years. Generally, in my life, they left me a more sensitive person with my actions and words whenever people are going through a trying season of whatever kind of loss.
In my current marriage, initially I did not like it when I saw my husband unwell, because it brought fear that he would die but today I have overcome that fear and accepted that our life is in God’s hands and He alone knows our days on earth, so I just try to make every moment count.
My husband Tonny Gobanga www.tonnygobanga.com and I, are the visionaries of Stones to Rubies Ministries www.stonestorubies.com. These challenges have helped me become a more sensitive Pastor. I don’t read 100 scriptures while trying to encourage one who has been bereaved but I know the best gift for such people would be the gift of presence, like what Jesus did when Lazarus died, He wept in as much as He was going to raise him from the dead.
Today I know better to type out the verse of the bible I want to use to encourage someone than to only send the bible book and verse expecting the person to look for the Bible and flip through. Only a few are able to do that.
I have learnt we go through things to help us know how to handle others more gentle and keeping them encouraged. It is not for you to downplay what they have gone through because you are safely on the other side of the tunnel but to stand as a pillar of hope reminding them what God did for you He can do it for them without necessarily saying those words.
Did your experiences make you a better or bitter person?
At first, I was bitter, I was born again and serving as a pastor, and I say this to help church folk who die in anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness, I encourage you just to let it out and talk to somebody not anybody but somebody. Crying helped me and having sober people as my support system that when I asked questions that did not make sense, they did not rebuke me and neither did they leave me to keep going in that wrong direction I was taking but instead they would gently remind me the word of God. So today I am a better person because of the path God allowed me to walk on.
In hindsight, what would you do differently?
Nothing, since nothing came with a warning. Now I know better that God can use whatever was meant to finish you to catapult you to amazing heights because never forget His desire for us is to move from glory to glory.
I would probably have a different perception of my desert seasons, with the understanding that no temptation is meant to destroy you. Today I know the process is not beautiful, but God wants to see the best of us in character and not just gifting’s. when hard pressed that’s when the abundance of the heart speaks, and your mouth says all that has been residing in your heart.
In what ways have the challenges brought you victory in your personal life?
My personal life has become very public since even the media took on my story long before I had allowed them to. This made invitations to trickle in from all parts of my beloved country and the world which in turn I got ready audience who wanted to know how I made it through and that gave me so much joy because every time I was invited whether for a corporate event, church or conferences to talk about the how, I have to introduce my source of strength who is Jesus, and so it gave room for me to preach, and by God’s grace I have seen many surrender their lives to Christ, and many more letting go of past heartaches. I consider those my greatest victories; just seeing life being birthed a new from one who had given up on life is nothing but pure joy.
When and how did you meet your husband?
I met my husband in a basketball match tournament that was organized by a different church in a different city, and after we talked, a lot happened between us and 10 years later we got married and as they say the rest is history.
How has your marriage impacted on your life and ministry?
I have come to appreciate life more understanding that no one knows the day or time a loved one can be called back home.
Marriage today has impacted my life in amazing ways. My Darling husband pushes me to be the best I can be, and he fully supports me. He encouraged me to write my book “Crawling Out of Darkness” that is my autobiography, and after ministering to nations, it is with him by God’s grace that I find a loving home and assurance in his arms. He is a God-fearing man, and so he covers me in prayer and guides me in many ways. My husband loves me very openly despite what my past was; this has helped see God in a totally new way. God is love, and at times we are not able to relate to that especially if you have not experienced love. Through my husband, I have been able to see God in a totally new light. He always points me back to Christ when I am looking to him for stuff; he gently reminds me of our source and whom we need to stay plugged to.
In ministry our marriage has impacted many to know that it does not matter one’s background, as long as one is willing to work at it in prayer and physically as well, God can change any situation. We have written a book called “Beyond I do.” It is more than just words. We feel very passionate about marriages and do a lot of premarital, marital and post-marital counselling.
How long were you married before God blessed you with children?
Just one year. He is a faithful God.
What is the most rewarding thing you have done thus far, and why it was rewarding?
Working with Trauma survivors www.karaolmurani.org . It Is the most rewarding thing I do because I founded this years ago but only got to register it recently to enable me to reach a wider audience. It is rewarding because many come in as victims after different kinds of trauma, few come in as survivors, a bit more encouraged and having the feeling of “I want better for me” but none comes in as a warrior and that is what I do by God’s grace. A warrior is one who knows where they have come from and they survived by God’s grace, and now they are so empowered and are ready to go for others who are in the same situation if not worse than they once were in. Currently, we are doing one on one counseling and support groups, but our end goal is to open a half-way house since some cases I receive at our center are just too extensive that the survivors need a safe haven for a couple of months or years depending… We are trusting to get all funds needed for that home. This will help them to feel safe, and it cannot be a lifetime arrangement because they need to get back to normalcy in order to conquer in the different fields God has given them.
What advice do you have for others who are going through a similar challenge?
Hold on, it is not over yet, and in the meantime before the set time of whatever God wanted to reveal to you about you and or about others, it is okay to cry, it is okay to go through the emotions the bible says, in your anger do not sin. I only pray God helps them to surround themselves with strong pillars people who will pray for them genuinely and people who will gently correct them when they see a good window because faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. I encourage you to play the audio Bible, or Holy Spirit inspired worship. Let your atmosphere be saturated with Jesus even when you cannot pray or sing yourself, and something will begin to lift as chains begin to fall. Your company is so key watch against pity parties and negative people.
I would add process is hard but always strive to deal and not to dwell. I encourage people to be so angry with their situation to want to do something positive or to want to see something good coming out of their predicament. You are your only limit not what people are saying. Conquer your mind by renewing your mind with what God says about you and watch the heights God will lift you to.
Apart from your salvation, what is your biggest testimony of God’s faithfulness in your life?
That God restores. He is capable of restoring any situation that looks dead. He specializes in turning things around, especially things or situations that people have given up on. My favourite name of Him is El Gibbor which means Jehovah mighty in battle because He has never lost any battle and so yours will not be the first one. He even conquered death so what else will he not conqueror?
Have you ever experienced a season or seasons of loneliness and how did you handle it?
Yes, I have severally, but those times are when I felt God closest the most. Today I know everybody’s love can be very noisy, because of the different demands their version of love comes until one can easily forget how genuine love looks like. Loneliness has a way for propelling us to a closer walk with God or a closer walk with things that destroy, e.g., substance abuse, pornography, etc. to feel worthy only to fall back worse. Loneliness comes with silence and silence allows God to be heard because many times he would not fight for attention.
How has God received the glory through your life?
Every time people talk about me, the one question that keeps coming up is, “How did you do it, how did you rise above it all, you are so strong”, I keep pointing them to my source and so each time you talk about Terry there has to be the mention of His name, Jesus, my everything. I am clear on having have not done it on my own. I am a product of mercy and grace. Mercy said no and rewrote my life. I am forever grateful to God.
Where can people get more information about you?
You can connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter as Terry Gobanga or on my website www.terrygobanga.com
