Dianah Kamande is our DOZ Show Preferred Guest for this issue of DOZ Magazine. She is a domestic violence survivor, a widow, a widow leader and a motivational speaker. More than a decade ago, she married the love of her life, and their marriage was blessed with two beautiful daughters.
She thought they were happy, and all was well, but one night, her husband attacked and cut her up with a sword. He was determined to kill her, their children, and himself. Rescuers arrived at the scene, and she was able to escape with her children, and her husband killed himself.
In this excerpt from her DOZ Show interview, Dianah relives the horror of the night she almost lost her life. Be inspired to overcome adversity!
Dianah, tell us about the night that your husband attacked you. What transpired and how did you and your children escape?
That was on the 19th of April 2013. That day started well. We left the house together because he was driving me to work before proceeding to his place of work. I told him I was leaving work at 3 pm to rush to church because we had wedding preparations. And he said, no problem. Just remember to give me a call when you’re leaving. So, I left work and I went to church. I gave him a call on my way to church. When I arrived at church, I had to notify him. After finishing in church, I was in a hurry, time was running, I needed to go and prepare dinner, and I just thought, let me catch up with a means of public transport and rush home. I forgot to give him a call, and he called, and I was like, oh sorry sweetie I had to rush home. I just caught up with one of the buses, and I’m heading home. Then he asks me, what are you cooking for dinner tonight? A question that he never asks me. I told him, I am cooking rice and beans and he tells me to prepare Ugali and fried meat (that’s one of our type of food here). So, I told him, no problem, I am going to do exactly that. So, I rushed to go and prepare everything and then he comes from work.
Suddenly someone banged the door. In Kenya, we have policemen who go to ransack houses, and they would bang the door. And I thought, oh, are there houses that are being ransacked today? When I peeped through the living room door, I found it was my husband. I was worried, why is this man doing this today? I took the keys and opened the gate for him. He came in, and he didn’t want to talk to anyone. My children came to receive him at the door the way they were used to coming to receive him. He told my children; can you go back to your mother? And my children were so sad; they had never seen their dad in this mood. And you know, in the African culture we are always told the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So, I went to the kitchen, warmed his food, served his food, and brought it to the dining table and went to call him. And to my surprise, he tells me, I don’t want your food. I am so shocked, and I am asking myself, how does he afford to say that he doesn’t want my food, yet he is the one who asked for this meal? I was not preparing this meal. My husband leaves the bedroom; I am helping my house girl to fold the clothes that she has ironed. So, my house girl tells me, mama Praise, I have seen baba Praise pick all the keys, can you look and see? And you know women, when we love, we love with all our heart, mind, and soul. I asked my house girl, what is wrong? This is his house; he can do whatever he feels like doing. There is no harm with him carrying the keys. And my house girl she kept on telling me after this happened, she thought it was so so different and something that was not what we used to see because my husband had never opened the gate for himself. Whenever he stepped outside, he could ask me to open the gate for him and then when he was coming back; he could give us a call. This particular day it was different, he carried even the spare key, and my house girl tells me, mama Praise he carried the spare key that we hang on the wall and my key that I put on the dining table. And I told my house girl, no problem, maybe he thinks he doesn’t want to disturb us when he is coming back. So, he stepped out, and I locked the door from inside but did not put a padlock on it so that he could access it when he came. We waited for him, and around 9.30 pm he is not yet back, and my girls were very eager to go and sleep because the next day was the wedding and they were part of the flower girls’ team. So, we just prayed, and my daughters went to bed. My house girl kept me company and then told me she wanted to go and sleep. I also felt let me go and sleep but before that, let me give my husband a call. I gave him three consecutive calls; he did not respond to any. I wrote him a text message saying we are going to bed; I have been calling you. I have waited for you, and you have not responded to me, so we are going to bed. My house girl went to bed; I also went to bed. I did not lock the bedroom door. I just pushed the door behind me and went to bed. I slept like a baby that night.
I did not hear him come, because the next thing, I felt something very warm on my face, and I felt a lot of pain. I told myself; thieves thought that because my husband went out, it was the right time to come and attack me. But I felt something telling me can you put on the light from the bed switch so that you can negotiate with these thieves? Give them the money you have and permit them to carry all the electronics in this house. That’s what I did, and when I put on the light, using the bed switch, I was so shocked because I saw it was my husband holding a two-edged sword that already had blood on it. I sat on the bed and asked him, why are you doing this to me? I thought it was thieves. He told me, we are dying all of us in this house. I’m killing you, kill the children and then kill myself. As I sat on the bed, he used the sword to cut me on my forehead. It went direct to my bone on my forehead. And I am here asking, in disbelief, I am not even hiding, I am trying to negotiate with him, why are you doing this to me? Can you stop doing this to me? If there is something, let’s sit down and talk about it. He insisted, I’m killing you, kill the children and then kill myself. He took the sword and cut me on the head; he cut me on the head for twenty-one times. I did not realise it was twenty-one times, but it was realised in the hospital. He cut me, he interfered with critical nerves on my head, and I pretended I was dead and hid under the bed. He takes his phone and calls his mother and tells my mother-in-law, mother I have killed your daughter, and I want to kill your grandchildren, prepare four graves because I am also going to kill myself. The second phone call was to his employer, and he told his employer, I have killed my wife, I want to kill the children and then kill myself, can you look for another employee? The third phone call was to my dad. He called my dad and told him, old man, I have killed your daughter, and I want to kill your grandchildren, and then kill myself. I have instructed my mother to prepare four graves, prepare four coffins.
Because he believed I was dead, he opened the bedroom door, went to the kitchen, and took a knife. At this time, my house girl, when I was screaming and shouting for help, had gone to my handbag, because I left my handbag on the dining table. So, my house girl at this time had gotten my spare key that was in the bag and she managed to open the door and the gate and started screaming and shouting for help as she was making calls to my relatives. My husband leaves me in the bedroom goes to the kitchen, takes a knife, and I hear my daughters shout for help. Please, Daddy, don’t kill us. And I decided I would rather die than my children. I came out of my hiding place. At this time my house girl had reached out for help, and my sister and her husband came at the right time. Because when I arrived in my children’s bedroom, he had made my first daughter lie facing up so he could stab her in the stomach. When I arrived, he was so mad, and he pointed at me with the knife and said, so, you are not dead? At this point, my sister and my brother-in-law walked in. They did not talk to him, they just took the children, and my husband said, I am going to kill you, now referring to me. My brother-in-law took my first daughter who was traumatised by what was just about to happen to her. My sister who had given birth a week ago through a caesarean section was not able to carry my baby, so she just walked with the baby as they walked out. My brother-in-law did not know how much I had been injured, so he asked me, kindly support yourself on the wall and follow us. I said, okay. I tried, but I had over bled, and I felt like I was going to fall because I had lost a lot of blood. Once my brother-in-law left, my husband grabbed me, and he wanted to take me to the bedroom so that he could kill me. He took the sword, and he wanted to cut my neck. I blocked using my hand and he cut my hand. I am fitted with seven metal plates on my hand. When my brother-in-law realised that I was not able to follow them, he asked neighbours for help. He managed to convince one gentleman, and they came into the house, and they helped me. This is how I got rescued, and I was taken to the hospital.
How can people contact you if they would like to know more about you?
People can go to my Facebook page; I do a lot on social media. My Facebook name is Dianah Kamade Hsc. Also, they can go to Come Together Widows and Orphans Organisation. Or go to our website www.cometogewoo.org
