Gee Patchett is our DOZ Show Preferred Guest for this issue of DOZ Magazine. As a young girl, Gee believed that the only way out of her home situation was to get married. She married at 16 and soon discovered that marriage was not the fairy tale she had read in books. For more than two decades that followed, she suffered many different forms of abuse in her personal life. Her experience was not in vain as it prepared her to work with survivors of sexual abuse. She is the founder of Transformation Powerhouse, a ministry which is built on Christian principles to be a “Healing Centre,” empowering and supporting women and teenage girls who have been victims of sexual abuse. The Centre aims to provide group and one-to-one support on-site. She believes that as a society, we cannot continue to allow the issue of sexual abuse to be covered up. If you have suffered any form of abuse or adversity, Gee is living proof that you can turn it to gain and reach out to help others.
Read her story and be inspired to find the purpose in your pain.
How and why did you get into this line of work?
I think it was when I was about 12 or 13 years old, I came to the UK when I was 11 years old, and I read a story about a father who would sexually abuse his children weekly while mum was at work. And so that was my first awareness of sexual abuse because I was very naïve at that time. And so, I was really shocked that something like this could be happening in the UK and nothing was being done about it because I had heard so many great things about the UK when I was in Jamaica. But as I was growing up, I kept coming in contact with people that had been sexually abused by family members, and I was really disgusted to be quite honest, and I just wanted to leave the UK as soon as I can. To me, that was like, get me out of this country; it is a dirty country. I don’t want to be here. Because I wasn’t aware that sexual abuse was something that was happening all over the world, do you know what I mean? It wasn’t a one-off thing. But each time I tried to leave the UK, something would happen to block me, block the move I wanted to make. And in 2001, I was in Bible school, and the Holy Spirit told me to share my vision with a second-year student that was in my cell group. But my vision was to leave the country to work in India or Africa with women, to empower them. But it wasn’t about sexual abuse because that was my experience; I had been through domestic violence in my first marriage. So when I told her what I wanted to do, she replied, yes, but God is saying you should step out in faith and start in this country. I was upset, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and the next day the Holy Spirit said to me, I have a building for you. Four days later, we went to see a pastor. And when the Holy Spirit told me to share the vision with the pastor, the pastor looked at me and said, in this community, there is a pub, and for the last four years I have believed healing will come from that building because it has been used to destroy a lot of families for generations. And so when we left there, my husband took me to the pub. I saw it and said, God, that’s my place, that’s the place for my ministry. And so I just started praying to God for the direction of what I’m supposed to be doing, what He wanted me to do and bit by bit I was directed to certain things. And then I was directed to a book another pastor told me about. It spoke about the effect of sexual abuse in children and how it happens. And previously, the Lord had spoken to me and said to me one morning at prayer time that sexual abuse was the devil’s most powerful weapon against humanity. I didn’t understand what He was saying but anyway I kept praying, and then in September 2001, I went with my husband to visit a young girl who had reported that her dad had been sexually abusing her. And when we went to the centre there was a lot of young people there that had been sexually abused, and they were there for assessment. And it was just heart-breaking to believe that this could actually be happening in young children, young people suffering because of what someone had done to them. And it was at that time I knew; when I left that place, I knew sexual abuse was something God wanted me to work it. And so that’s it. Doing this work is just in obedience to God. That’s it really.
Are there any signs or characteristics of a woman who has been abused sexually?
Well, the thing is, with sexual abuse, people react and cover it up differently. Some people will be depressed; they will show anxiety; they will be angry; they will behave in what people call aggressive ways to their husbands. For example, it could be a touch, and it would just trigger something. There are usually mental health issues as well resulting from being sexually abused. But the thing is, some people will just put a brick wall around them and just behave as if nothing has happened and later on they will start to behave in strange ways. Sexual abuse survivors are very good at covering up the truth. They will put a mask on so that is why we use a mask, for example, as part of the campaign. You can’t really associate to say that’s because she’s been sexually abused. There are signs there. But for myself when they come to me I will know obviously these are the symptoms, these are the effect, but it doesn’t necessarily mean someone who is not used to associating with people who have been sexually abused that they will recognise the signs. I also think to be honest, for me, it’s a spiritual thing because I just kind of seem to know. I can look at someone, and I know. I don’t know whether you want to call it a gift because it’s my calling. But I am very aware of people around, when they speak I can pick things up very easily.
What treatment or support is available? If a woman has been abused, how can she be treated? How can she be made whole so that she can move on with her life without having that issue from the past come back to haunt her or destroy her future?
Right now, the treatment and support are very small, kind of non-existent. Because to be honest, if someone is referred for, let’s say, counselling, to be honest, a one-hour counselling session is not enough. I don’t work on that basis, because that is someone’s life that has been totally destroyed and everything is not the way it should be. They don’t look at the world the way someone who hasn’t been abused does. So you’ve got to embrace someone with a lot of love and a lot of acceptance, and understanding. Because not only are they feeling dirty, they’re feeling ashamed, they’re feeling it’s their fault, they’re feeling so many things, and there is not a system in place to work with these people. There’s definitely not a system in place. And most of the time, what happens right now, they’ll go to doctors because they’re depressed, but what those doctors will do is they’ll give them medication to treat depression. But that doesn’t help because eventually, they have more complex mental issues; they will be treated as a mental patient and not as someone who has been sexually abused that needs treatment. But I absolutely know for a fact that with the right treatment people can, I have seen it, people can be restored. But the system does not allow for it. Right now, we’ve got drugs issues, alcohol, eating disorder, prostitution, self-harm, mental health, all these things are mostly associated with sexual abuse, but nobody is saying it; they are not saying it, and that’s the problem.
So, do you think that some women or girls are more susceptible to sexual abuse than others, based on maybe their background, religion, race, or those sorts of things?
Nope. Because people from all walks of life abuse children and it has nothing to do with race, religion, or background. Children from very wealthy families are abused just as much as those from poor families. In some communities, it is kept covered more, because of the culture of the victim they are less likely to disclose it. And in certain cultures, the victims are forced to associate with the abuser even though family members know what is happening. It has nothing to do with anything; people are just evil. It’s got nothing to do with the victims; they are powerless. Because those that abuse children know how to keep children quiet. They threaten them with all kinds of things, and children believe it because society doesn’t make it loud and clear that there is such a thing as sexual abuse and that it is wrong. Children normally believe what adults tell them, and they usually know how to keep them quiet. And all it does is that because society is keeping quiet, it gives those that abuse children the security of knowing that they can abuse children and be safe in their actions. If children talk, most people don’t believe it, and nothing is done about it. So, it is just an evil thing that is going right through every race, every religion, everybody. Because there is evil in every community, no matter what colour we are, no matter where we are coming from.
What impact has Transformation Ministries had on victims, and how have you been able to prevent others from becoming victims?
Well, all I can say is everyone that has come to us in desperation we’ve helped. Most of the people that I see, they are at a desperate state, and none has come to me and not left here with a smile on their face. Never. Because people know that we genuinely care about them and that what we are doing is not a business. And I make sure that people feel valued and they know that they’re not being rushed. When I make an appointment with someone to see me, I keep my diary completely clear, so they’re with me until they’ve had a breakthrough in some form and they’re in a better place, and they leave here ready to address some of the areas of the abuse that’s making their life really difficult. I don’t talk about it because for me it is not about what we say, it’s what people say, and the ministry’s here to do what God’s called us to do, and in time it’s for God to expose and let it be known what is actually going on. But the people that come to us, they’re the ones that know, and people don’t really know what goes on here because I don’t talk about it. I really don’t, honestly. But I’ve been told that we’ve saved many lives by being here.
How important is it for victims to speak out and what are the dangers if any of not speaking out, or of sweeping such things under the carpet?
Gosh. Do you know what? It is crucial. It is vital that people speak out. Vital. And it is never too late to do so. I’ve met many people that have tried to sweep the abuse under the carpet, and they’ve just suffered and suffered. They’ve tried to move on, and many have moved on, but eventually, that demon will come back, and that stuff that has happened will come back. You know, that feeling of shame and guilt, it keeps people quiet, because they feel ashamed. But the problem is, they don’t understand that that’s from the devil. That is what’s keeping them quiet. Because he accuses them, you’re dirty; you liked it, you could have stopped it, why didn’t you do something about it? But once you speak with people and kind of switch things and say to them, you were a child; you could not do this, this, this, this, this. I’ve even had a person who was being sexually abused from three by her dad, tell me in a session that it was her fault because she could have stopped it. But as a three-year-old child, how do you stop your dad raping you? You can’t, and so the thing is people tell all this stuff, and they listen to all these lies that go around in their head but by the time I finish with people all of that nonsense is put to bed. They leave liberated, knowing that the shame and guilt belong to the abuser, not to them. And they also understand only the truth can set you free because that’s what the word of God says, know the truth and it will set you free, and it does. You can’t bury stuff like that and keep it hidden and think that you’re going to be free, you will never be free. Never. And it’s very painful to go through the process but to live without the baggage, and the memories of the past are worth every price that one has to pay to get it. And that is, speak; I don’t care how painful it is; open your mouth. Do it.
How can people contact you?
You can go on our website at www.achildiscrying.org.uk or www.transformation.gs or even if you go on YouTube there’s really good stuff that we’ve done, and it will really give a good insight on the issue of sexual abuse and maybe spur some of the people to do something. So, if you google A Child is Crying or Transformation Powerhouse, you will find a lot about us.
