Within days of discovering a lump in her breast, Bonita Parker moved from a stage two cancer diagnosis to a stage four cancer diagnosis. She had a triple-negative, the rarest and deadliest type of breast cancer. The diagnosis would wake her to the reality that none of us have time to waste in the pursuit of purpose. We are here for a reason. Our assignment is time-bound. We can’t give in to fear and procrastination, or we will depart in regret. If you are fearful, Bonita says fear is your friend, do it scared, and she shares with us her do-it-scared experience which entailed inviting celebrity speaker, Lisa Nichols to speak at her conference. Bonita is a nationally recognized transformational speaker, international bestselling author, Radical Success Coach, and Founder & CEO of the Dream Achieve! Win Academy™ – a virtual platform that provides online training and success tools to entrepreneurs. She has over ten years of experience working with entrepreneurs, corporate executives, celebrities, and non-profit directors in event planning and management. She helps entrepreneurs reach their highest potential using the same proven strategies and techniques that propelled her into a consistent 6-figure earner as an entrepreneur. After a life-changing battle with cancer, she founded her non-profit, the Hope for Pink Foundation, to provide direct support services to women currently in active treatment. Bonita shares how her cancer diagnosis changed her life. She gained vision and purpose and realised time is precious. Read her interview and be inspired for radical change.
Bonita, please share with us your journey with cancer from the time that you were diagnosed to the time that you became cancer-free.
Oh my gosh. Okay. So, I think it was around December 16th, 2017, I had discovered a lump in my breast during a self-check. Let me back up a little bit because I was late for my mammogram which was supposed to have taken place in September of 2017, and you know life took effect, and I’m busy, and I’m just neglecting my self-care and next thing I know it’s December. And so as I stated, on December 16th I discovered this lump on my breast; I did a self-check, and there it was. Like it was the first place that I touched on my breast. And I never have any abnormalities so instinctively, in my mind, I knew that it was something and I think that I just instantly convinced myself that it was cancer. I was like, oh my God, I never have a lump; I never have an abnormality. And so, I ended up going to my doctor the next day and let him check it out, and then he ordered an emergency mammogram for me, and there it was. I went through a series of tests to determine whether or not it was, in fact, cancerous and it turned out that it was after all the biopsies. So, my initial diagnoses after all the testing was stage two, based on the size of the lump. But then when they continued the series of tests, the ultrasounds and sonograms and things like and delved deeper into that area, they discovered that it had already started to spread into my lymph nodes and then what appeared to be a little on my lungs. And so that actually elevated me to a stage four. And at the end of all the testing, my diagnosis was stage four triple-negative breast cancer which is the most rare and deadliest form of breast cancer – triple negative is very rare they say that it is the incurable cancer but nevertheless after almost five months of an aggressive chemotherapy – I had a partial mastectomy and twenty-six targeted radiation treatments, here I am and my most recent scan shows no evidence of disease. It was rough, but God got me through this, and my faith and I’m so happy to be here because I know so many who don’t make it.
In what ways did the diagnosis change your life and what is the biggest lesson that you took away from that season?
You know when you get a diagnosis like cancer, it automatically changes your life, especially after you get over the initial emotions behind it, the tears and the why me questions that instantly come along with something so severe, so I became so much more in tune spiritually with who I am. I became more clear on who I am, who Bonita really is internally. And I fell in love with that person; I didn’t realise that I was putting so much emphasis on vanity that I was inadvertently placing that on myself. I put so much emphasis on the external part of me, and cancer strips you of everything that you thought mattered most to you; your hair, your body, it takes away everything and makes you completely vulnerable, right? It exposes you. And so, in that exposure for me, came a clear vision and purpose discovery and I realised that the things that I was putting so much focus on were not the things that deserved my time at all. Time is so precious. The biggest lesson is time and the value of time. It’s so precious, and it needs to be valued and well spent on things that actually matter. Things that actually make a difference in your life today and onward. So, that’s what that did for me; I’m such a keeper of my time now when at first, I devalued it, I took it for granted. I took it for granted, and I think a lot of people do.
Let’s talk about your Hope for Pink Foundation because I’m really interested in that. You set up a foundation to educate and advocate for the fight against breast cancer and provide direct support services to women who are currently in active treatment. What impact has this non-profit had thus far, and can you share with us some testimonials?
Absolutely. Absolutely. This is a very new initiative. The Hope for Pink Foundation is still very much in the baby stage, but we’re making big waves. Our pink sisters support programme is our benchmark, and we match a current warrior with a survivor for support, and I always like to break down the terminology because everybody uses warrior. So, a warrior is a woman who is in current treatment, a survivor is someone who has gone through treatment and has surpassed the diagnoses of cancer and then you have your thrivers who like me, – I am living with a diagnosis of breast cancer that I will continue to have that I have to monitor. So, we match current warriors with survivors for support. We get a lot of women daily who just need someone to talk to, they need someone to stand as a sounding board or an ally for them while they’re on this journey, because they either have no family support or they just simply need someone who understands what they’re feeling and what they’re going through. And so, in this programme, we devote countless hours just talking to these women, giving them free resources that will help them get through the tough times. I personally have dedicated my time to this programme because I’ve been through it, right? I’ve been through it, I can connect with them on a whole different level, and they appreciate that deeper connection. I cry with them, and then I make them laugh, and they love that. I love being a blessing, in this way, and it makes a big impact on the women, and I give them hope. And that’s what’s most important, I give them hope, and with hope, they are able to give the fight their all.
What was it in your experience that made you want to reach out and help other women struggling?
This is actually a no-brainer for me because of one, my personality. I’m just a giver by nature, and I’m compassionate by nature, and I’ve always been in a position to help women no matter what they were going through. I’ve always been that person and so as it relates to the cancer journey, I’ve experienced first hand what cancer can do to you, how it can make you feel about yourself, how it affects you mentally, and so before I went through it myself I had no idea the impact on your spirit that this disease has, even on the strongest person, it knocks you down, and if you’re not mentally equipped for the impact it can be hard to recover from, but I know that with a proper support system it’s possible. The personal involvement for me doing this is, I’ve had people closest to me turn their backs and shy away from me because they couldn’t handle the diagnosis, and once that happened, I prayed and I asked God to send me some of the strongest prayer warriors to walk with me because I couldn’t do it alone. No one can do this alone. You cannot survive this alone, and I never wanted any other woman to go through this or experience that battle alone and be unsupported, and so I just decided to do something about it, and I became the agent of hope and support for these women. It’s my purpose.
Let’s talk about the other work that you do. You’re the founder and CEO of the Dream Achieve! Win Academy ™, which is a virtual platform providing online training and success tools to entrepreneurs. When and how did this come about?
This is my baby; I love talking about Dream Achieve. The bottom line was it was time, I had been in the business for ten years, and I didn’t have the online presence that I needed not speaking of social media but just the online opportunity for people to go and get knowledge, get tools, get strategies. So, I birth Dream Achieve when actually in April 2018 in the midst of my cancer journey I knew that my traditional ways of coaching was kind of placed on hold because I couldn’t give my clients, even potential prospects, something to latch on to. My energy was down, I wasn’t able to show up in person, but I wanted to put something in place that would give them the tools and the strategies that they needed to continue on their success paths, and ironically, during this time, the demand for my services had increased due to other initiatives that I had in place, and people were talking and my clients were referring me out so the demand was overwhelming so I was like I’ve got to do something, but in addition to that just from a business standpoint with my desire to grow my brand online, having a virtual academy gave me the option for people to learn at their own pace, and do it in their own time without me having to be physically present and we’re in such a digital age where it is essential for businesses to have online presence especially if you want to grow and stay relevant. So, people like the whole click and buy option no matter what your product or service is, it’s convenient, and people buy convenient. And so, I had to do something that would make it convenient for them to learn and grow and get what they needed. So that’s Dream Achieve Win. I love it.
Is this business everything that you envisioned and what are some of the amazing things that you’ve achieved through this company?
This business as a whole is still evolving, but I would admit that I am extremely proud of its evolution. I remember the days of making no money wondering when the hard work would pay off and then it did eventually. So, in this business, I was able to leave my 9 to 5 job in corporate America, which is like the ultimate entrepreneurial dream everybody wants to eventually be in position to leave their job right? And so that happens for me, and I’m blessed to have been able to establish and maintain financial freedom and control over my time as a result of that, and that’s so important for me and this point in my life especially after the cancer journey. It’s like I need control over my time and so this business has afforded me that. This business has also afforded me the opportunity to create a platform for women who have the desire to become published authors, and I’ve taken over twenty women to bestseller status on writing their first book. So that was major for me to be able to do. I’ve coached over a hundred women into starting and growing their businesses as well as maintaining their footprints in their industry, and I’ve been blessed to be in position to create a dynamic speaking platform by hosting live events and conferences for women that has housed some very phenomenal powerhouse speakers such as Lisa Nichols. She also serves as a mentor to me as well as a result. So many amazing things have transpired for me in this business, and I’ve also received several honours. In 2016 I was awarded the woman on fire award. In 2017 I was woman of the year, and in 2018 I was nominated for an author academy award. So, this business has definitely been good to me. I’m blessed.
What is it that sets you apart from others who are in a similar business? What makes your products or the services that you offer unique?
So, what sets me apart is I combine personal development into all of my programmes. I’m a certified life coach as well as a business coach. I’m a certified life coach, so I understand the importance of mindset and how having the right mindset paves the way for how you conduct yourself in business and handle certain levels of success. I believe in meeting every client where they are and going through the journey with them as their partner. So, in introducing the personal development aspect, first, it allows me to see where they are most vulnerable and allows me to walk with them to a clear passage to relieving the excess baggage; the fear, the limiting beliefs, the negative self-talk, the lack of self-confidence, we’ve got to get that out of the way before we can get into the meaty stuff. Because those things always have a way of showing up the closer you get to achieving your goals, and so I make them aware that they have to prepare mentally for success, for the success that they’re trying to achieve. You have to prepare mentally for that, and then you go get it. And so that’s how I coach them, I coach women who aspire to be coaches. In order for them to be successful at coaching, they have to be mentally prepared and properly positioned to coach other people, and I think that that’s something that’s being left out as it relates to business coaching. They’re not attacking the personal development side and removing that baggage that people are coming with.
Bonita, there are lots of women who are passionate in areas that have nothing to do with their 9 to 5; but they hold on to the 9 to 5 because they are afraid and because they have no idea how to turn their passion into a business that will make a profit. What would you like to say to such women? I think now might be a good time to mention your Do it Scared motto.
Yes. Entrepreneurship in and of itself is a scary thing. We all know that. It’s a scary thing. It has so many moving parts, and it’s always evolving and shifting. People fear the shift, people fear change, they fear the unknown, they fear the unexpected, and I tell anybody that coaches with me, do it scared. Like I will only work with you if you are scared because it tells me that there is something about your dream or goal that is so big that it is scaring the living daylights out of you and that’s a great thing, that’s when you know or that’s when I know, rather, that you’re ready to give this thing your all. Doing it scared simply means facing your fears head-on, having faith that it’s going to work out just fine because you gave it your best effort in spite of. Fear is your friend. I tell people that all the time, fear is your friend. And when you are scared, and you want to win, you will give it your all, and you will jump out there. Now that you’ve jumped out there, you placed everything on the line; your reputation, your dignity, your integrity, you have to give it your all. You have to fight to keep all of that intact, right? And so that’s how you have to attack your business, you do it scared, and if it’s meant for you, God will work out the rest.
What obstacles did you face and overcome in the journey to starting your own business, and will you please share with us your experience of doing it scared?
Absolutely, that’s a great question. I’ve actually never been asked that question before, so that’s a great question for me because when I first started my business in 2007, I was primarily focusing on event planning and coaching aspiring event planners. I was young, and I was naïve, but I was very tenacious, I didn’t fear much because I didn’t see a vision that extended much beyond what I was doing at that moment. And it wasn’t until 2014 when I stepped into the life coaches and speaking realm where I had my first bout with fear, and I struggled with getting people to take me seriously in this new phase, right? And I remember sitting with my assistant at the time, and I said, you know what? You know how I’m going to get my name out there? I’m going to do a big conference for women to come together and unmask and bond over common experiences and I’m going to get Iyanla Vanzant to be my keynote speaker, and I’m going to shake up the whole city. And she just looked at me, and she was like, are you serious right now? And I was like, yeah, I am serious, and I said it with a really straight face, and so she was like o-k-a-y. Now mind you this was my very first live event that I was hosting myself ever, no experience whatsoever with stage speaking and I barely had my feet wet in this industry and I didn’t know how I was going to pull it off or even get the people to buy into me in this space because I hadn’t secured my mark in the industry. And my assistant thought I was beyond crazy the whole entire time and I was there saying to myself, what in the world have I done? And it was in that moment, that I said, you know what? Go big or go home. Commit to it and stick with it. And the only thing that fear was going to do was stop me, but I was so not going to let it do that, and I was so already knee-deep into the planning and the marketing of the event; I knew that my reputation was on the line, and Iyanla wasn’t available to do the event, and that’s how I ended up with Lisa Nichols as my keynote for my first event. And when I tell you like the city was so shaken up, it was crazy , it was scary and it was crazy because I didn’t know how I was going to pull it off and I didn’t even think that she would agree to do the event because she was so established and then when I received her invoice, I didn’t think I would be able to do the event. But do you know what? My fear made me work so much harder to pull that event off and make it happen. And I always tell people, Lisa’s yes, shifted the trajectory on how I did the business and operated in this industry and it’s been an incredible journey ever since. Like fear no more. Scared or not, I’m doing it because I know that the power of yes is just as strong as that fear.
What do you find most fulfilling about helping entrepreneurs grow their business and profits?
Well aside from sharing my knowledge and pouring into these women and keeping them encouraged, the most fulfilling aspect of helping entrepreneurs for me, is seeing their dreams come to fruition and the reaction that they have to their winning most times. They don’t believe it’s possible until it happens, no matter how many times I tell them it would happen. But seeing them light up, and celebrate themselves in that moment, is enough for me, like it’s everything for me. It gives them momentum and a boost that will keep them going and keep them striving for higher and higher, and I love that part because the more they’re motivated, the more I am able to give them.
How can you be contacted by people who want to work with you or book you to speak at their events?
That is easy and simple, just go to www.bonitaparker.com my booking information is there as well as the opportunities that I have available for coaching. All of that information is on the website.
