Many years ago, my father, read Dr. Tai Ikomi’s book, His Beauty for My Ashes, and shared her story with me, how in one day, she had lost her husband and three children on an interstate highway due to the carelessness of a drunk driver.
I was a young girl at the time, possibly 13 or 14 years old and I had lost my mum in a car crash when I was eight; I remember leaving my father’s presence saddened at the tragedy that had befallen Dr. Ikomi. I wondered how one person could go through so much pain and still live. Her name never again left my heart, and I carried her with me over the years as I grew into adulthood.
Then, in January this year, I was on a journey when the Lord interrupted my thoughts. “Why don’t you feature Dr. Tai Ikomi in DOZ Magazine?” It sounded like a question, but I knew it was an instruction. Up until then, it had never occurred to me. “But I don’t know where to find her or how to reach her,” I said. “Then use Google, and you’ll find her.” The Lord said.
I obeyed God’s instructions, and it gives me great pleasure to bring Dr. Ikomi’s story to you in this issue of DOZ. I have no doubt that her story will inspire you and help you trust in God’s ability to heal your pains and forgive those who have wronged you.
Tell me a little about yourself. Where were you born? Where did you grow up?
I was named Taiwo Omowunmi Somide by my parents. I was born and bred in Ibadan and spent most of my childhood years in Wesley College, Elekuro Ibadan where my late father was teaching. It was a teacher training institute then.
Were your parents Christians? When and how did you become a Christian?
I grew up in a strong Christian Orthodox church. My mother was born to an Anglican Rev., and her mother came from a staunch Anglican family. My father was a Methodist. Both my parents were lay preachers in the Methodist church.
Although I grew up in a religious home, it was not until 1971 in my last year of secondary school that I came to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I attended a Scripture Union conference in Ijebu Ikenne, Mayflower School. I had first heard about the new birth experience a few years earlier but dismissed it. But, a few months prior to this, some girls came to our schools and spoke of the new birth experience. I wanted to give my life to Christ, but I was unable to.
When I got to this conference, I was very earnest about getting born again. One morning, after the message of salvation, I went forward to give my life to Christ, but I came back the same. So I sat in the hall, resolved not to leave until I met Christ. One brother came to me, Brother Meregini, and asked me what the matter was. I told him, and he then called another brother, Brother Cyril Okorocha, now a Bishop in Anglican Church, and they took me to the house of one of the brothers who was a teacher in the school. His name was, Brother Kumuyi, now Pastor Kumuyi, founder of Deeper Life Ministries.
I had three issues standing in my way of forgiveness. I thought I was a good girl and did not see myself a sinner. Secondly, I was a member of Celestial Church, and the spirit of that church was standing in my way of getting born again. Thirdly, I was not sure Jesus existed. I knew God must for how could you explain creation, but how do I know Jesus came back from the dead aside from what I was told?
They were led to open the Scriptures on sins. Suddenly, I realized I was a sinner, the greatest sinner that ever lived. I saw my vileness and sinfulness. The first problem was solved. Unable to see myself as a sinner I could not get born again. Jesus came to save sinners. Now that I saw myself as a sinner, I was on the road to salvation and my new birth experience.
When I introduced my church to them, they pointed out to me that the doctrines were not biblical. Then my eyes opened. From then on, the word of God was able to gain entrance into my heart. I instinctively felt there was a stone at the entrance of my heart that was bouncing back the word of God. The second problem about the church I was attending was solved.
After I realized I was a sinner, I began to cry profusely. I told Jesus that if He was truly out there, He should forgive me and come into my heart. He did. I saw Him, not as in a vision, but in an inner vision. I remember being surprised that He was alive indeed. That was April 30, 1971. I left that house, running, jumping, elated, and singing the song, Blessed Assurance, Jesus is Mine. It was a glorious day indeed. The third problem of not being sure Jesus was alive was solved. I had become born again finally.
When and how did you meet your late husband?
We both had a friend, an evangelist who had married my best friend. One day, I went to their house, and he told me a brother was looking for me. I knew the brother, but not very well. He took me to the brother’s house. He was Johnny Ikomi. That day, the brother told me that as he was praying, he saw in a vision and a light beamed on me when I was on my knees. He felt I was his wife. I told him I would pray about it. When I got home that night, I had forgotten my English Bible in the room where my niece was sleeping. I was on vacation from Universite du Benin, Lome, Togo. So I took my bilingual Bible, (English and French). I opened it to any page asking the Lord to speak to me about the proposal. The page turned to a Scripture; I had asked the Lord to speak to me. It was the Scripture about John asking Jesus if he was the one coming or another one to come. There and then, I knew it was of the Lord. But, it took a while to let him know. I wanted to play hard to get! That was the order in those days. However, I had no romantic feelings towards him, but it was to come later.
How many children did you have?
Temple, was eight years old, born 1978. The twins, Tosan and Ejima were born in 1983.
What are your fondest memories of your husband and children?
One of the things I remember my husband by was his utter integrity. I do not remember him ever telling me a lie. Secondly, he praised me often. One day he said I should write a book when he saw the gift of writing in me. He was the first to see the potential in me. I dismissed it. I told him I had nothing to write about! Now I have over 40 published books. My children were a great source of joy. I instilled in them, love for God and education. My son, Temple, was academically superior in the schools he went because I spent a lot of time improving his math and reading. The twins were learning to read even at the age of two and a half. They all gave me joy.
What happened on the day that you lost your family?
We were on our way from Fayetteville, Arkansas back home to Lincoln, Nebraska. When we got to Kansas City, Missouri when a drunk driver hit us from the back. They all died in the accident. I became the lone survivor. An ambulance took us to St Joseph’s Hospital, in Platte City, Missouri, where the police officer broke the bad news to me and said they had all died.
How did the challenge of losing your entire family impact on your life?
In more ways than one. For one thing, I miss the joy of being mother and wife. Yet, the void has been filled by God in a way that has baffled me. Secondly, my plan was to go to law school. With the accident, however, I felt led to go to do Theology.
In hindsight, what would you do differently?
In hindsight, I wish I had started the message of forgiveness earlier and also given it more attention that I did.
Recently, I read in a newspaper that you had forgiven the driver who killed your family. Please tell us about that.
Yes, I did. I was at Oral Roberts Seminary when I met a lady, Beverly Jones who was in Christian Counseling. She said I needed counseling. During the counsel, she led me to forgive this young man. And I found myself, pacing up and down in her living room, saying, “I forgive you, James, for killing my husband, Johnny. I forgive you, I release you, and I let you go. , “I forgive you for killing my first son, Temple. I forgive you, I release you, and I let you go. , “I forgive you, for killing my second son, Walter. I forgive you, I release you, and I let you go. , “I forgive you, for killing my only daughter, Ejima. I forgive you, I release you, and I let you go.
In the beginning, I did not mean it because I was still so angry, so sore, so hurt, but I continued. Suddenly, I felt an emotional release. It was as if someone lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders. I felt so light; I could fly. Interestingly too, I was no longer angry with James. As a matter of fact, I could have asked him if he were present if I could give him a hug and even asked if there was something I could do for him. Forgiveness is indeed a great blessing.
Apart from your salvation, what is your biggest testimony of God’s faithfulness?
God is faithful in every area of my life. I am grateful in particular for the message and insight in forgiveness God has given me.
What is the most rewarding thing you have done since losing your family, and why it was rewarding?
It is difficult to choose which. The Lord has given me three major areas of insight at various seasons in my life. Right now, the Lord is using me in the area of Forgiveness.
What purpose if any has been birth from your pain?
The message of forgiveness. Not too long ago, I released 12 volume books on Forgiveness. I preach on forgiveness. I teach forgiveness. I do seminars on forgiveness. Forgiveness is healthy, not just for the offended, but for any church or organization.
Has your pain made you a better person? How?
It has increased a greater empathy to those who are offended, those who are grieving, and those who have had difficult times in their lives.
What advice do you have for others who are going through a similar challenge?
Never allow your faith in God to diminish. The greatest thing you have is faith in God. Do not think God is no longer good. He is good. Our faith does not reside in good times but in a good God.
Following the passing of your family have you ever experienced a season or seasons of loneliness and how did you handle it?
Interestingly enough, I rarely feel lonely because of God’s power. And in those rare seasons, I call my family and friends. They have been my support. I thank God for them.
How have you filled the void over the years?
Unequivocally, my answer is the power of Bible Meditation. Meditation of Scriptures filled my heart like no other thing. As a matter of fact, Bible Meditation is the greatest single factor that has taken me through these years. I wrote two books on this topic, The Power of Bible Meditation and The Flaming Sword.
In what ways, has sharing your story brought you victory in your personal life?
There is no way you can bless others and not be blessed yourself. The testimonies of how my story has impacted lives have brought a tear or two of joy to my eyes. I feel fulfilled.
What else would you like people to know about you?
I would like people to know that I love the Lord and my desire is to love God even the more and to see souls make heaven.
What are you most grateful to God for helping you to do?
For knowing Him and using me especially in the areas of forgiveness and comfort for those who grieve.
How has God received the Glory through your life?
The book, His Beauty for My Ashes has brought a lot comfort and hope to many who grieve over a loved one. Secondly, the present work God placed in my hands is forgiveness. People who are reluctant to forgive are motivated to, after hearing my story and teachings of forgiveness. They understand what forgiveness is and what it is not, what it does to them, and how to forgive taking baby steps. I feel fulfilled in this area especially when I see how it has impacted so many life.
Actually, it was in 1999 when a company came to me and wanted to turn my book into a movie, His Beauty For My Ashes. Their focus was forgiveness. The movie was released the following year, 2000, bearing the same title. It was to be the genesis of the message of forgiveness in my life.
What is your highest aim in Kingdom work?
To promote the culture of forgiveness and desire in the heart of God’s children for a close relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Where can people get more information about you and your achievements?
They can visit www. drikomi.com and forgivenessschool.com which is coming soon.
