We do not know the name of this great woman because the Bible does not tell us her name. But her story comes up in the second book of Samuel. I have chosen to refer to her as a mother in Israel because this is how she addressed herself in a conversation with Joab.
Now, David had given his men instructions to chase after a certain man called Sheba, the son of Bichri. This man, like Absalom, sought to rebel against King David and take the throne from him. As Joab and David’s army chased after Sheba, he ran into a city in Abel presuming that he would be safe there. Joab and his men besieged the city and battered the wall; they were ready to throw the city down. But this random woman took the lead and approached them for a dialogue.
She soon realised that David’s army had no issues with the city or its inhabitants, they only wanted Sheba. She assured Joab that Sheba’s head would be thrown over the wall and this is what happened. She spoke to her people and convinced them that hiding Sheba would be detrimental to them as they obviously had no way of overcoming David’s mighty men. Shortly after, Sheba’s head was cut off and thrown over the wall, and Joab and his men departed from the city.
The Leadership Lessons from This Mother in Israel are;
- Great women ask great questions. This woman asked Joab, “Why wilt thou swallow up the inheritance of the Lord?” A great question, and it not only disarmed Joab but appealed to his better sense of judgment. In responding, he confessed that he only wanted Sheba but had no intention of destroying the city. Her question helped her to uncover the problem.
- Wise women are negotiators. Negotiators are people who hold discussions to reach an agreement. Wise women recognise the place and the power of negotiation. Therefore, in a crisis, they turn to the negotiation table to seek a way out. As Joab and the people chased after Sheba, he escaped into Abel. The people with Joab battered the wall of the city to throw it down. They would have destroyed the city with everyone in it because of one man. However, this wise woman approached them and made a deal with Joab. She assured him that Sheba’s head would be thrown over the wall to them. Then she went in and spoke to her people. Just as she had promised, Sheba’s head was thrown over the wall. She was a great negotiator, negotiating first with Joab and then with her people. On both platforms, she got what she wanted.
- Wise women are negotiators because of their influence. A woman who convinces an entire city to kill a man and throw his head over the wall is doubtless a woman with influence. Influence promotes successful negotiation. And such women gain their influence over time through genuine love and concern for the well-being of their people. She was peaceful, she was faithful, and she was a mother. The result is that she had influence. She was a great She described herself as one who was peaceful and faithful and a mother in Israel. These words connote influence.
- Wise women know that when the chips are down gender is irrelevant. People want a leader that can deliver them. And when that leader shows up, their gender is immaterial. Wise women recognise this and do not allow gender to stop them from fulfilling their purpose. If you are not leading, gender is not the reason. When Sheba escaped into Abel, the residents were put at risk. The city came under siege and was about to be destroyed along with its dwellers. However, this wise woman arose and became an intermediary for her people. She reached an agreement with Joab, and this no doubt pleased her people because when she returned to speak with them, they were willing to do as she said. Notice that they followed her lead willingly and none mentioned her gender. She had become a deliverer; therefore, her gender did not matter.
- Wise women are bold and fearless. This woman was not afraid to confront Joab although he was supposed to be an enemy out to destroy her and the city in which she dwelt.
- Wise women are intermediaries. They stand between their people and the enemy seeking a resolution to the issues at hand and the restoration of peace to everyone concerned.
- Wise women identify the one with whom they should dialogue. This mother in Israel did not ask to speak to anyone other than Joab because she knew only he could make the final decision as far as that circumstance was concerned. Many times, we waste precious time discussing with people who are in no position to give us what we want. Before you enter dialogue, you must first ensure that the person you are dialoguing with has the authority to give you what you want, or else you will have wasted your time.
- Wise women go the extra mile to prove their loyalty. Joab asked her to deliver Sheba, and he and his men would leave the city. The woman went the extra mile by offering him Sheba’s head so he would be assured Sheba was dead and no longer a threat. I believe she did this to demonstrate to Joab that she and indeed the entire inhabitants of the city were on David’s side and not only ready to surrender Sheba but to kill him themselves. So, when Joab departed from the city, there was no doubt in his heart as to the loyalty of those people to King David.
- Great women choose their battles carefully. They know when there is no need to fight. And when there is no need to fight, they refrain from fighting. War is not always the answer to peace.
- Great women do not take on matters that do not concern them. They have no time for sentiments. Sheba had a problem with David obviously because he was a rebel but that did not concern the people of the city of Abel as they were not part of his rebellion. The mother in Israel ensured that her community did not suffer for Sheba’s rebellion. It was no business of theirs, and they were not going to get involved. She was a wise woman, a great woman, and a leader.
